Wanna see? It's in like pentameter or some shit like that.
Samuel L. Jackson vs. Bigfoot
When Samuel L. Jackson was walking
One day he suddenly became aghast.
Because he just saw his old friend Bigfoot
And started to think way back to his past.
He started to think way back from before
When he was but a young and naïve child.
The year was nineteen seventy seven
And little Bigfoot was running wild.
Little Bigfoot was looking for trouble
So he started to take a little hike.
Then he walked up to Samuel L. Jackson
And then he ripped apart his brand new bike.
Samuel was now infuriated.
He wanted to pull out his hair.
He swore he would get revenge on Bigfoot
And now he had his chance right then and there.
He started to run at the highest speed
And he closed his big fiery eyes shut.
He sprinted right up to his friend Bigfoot,
And he kicked him fiercely square in the gut.
Bigfoot flew back and cried a cry of pain
And then there was a long and quiet pause.
And then suddenly two huge bald eagles
Swooped down and grasped the two in their sharp claws
The eagles dropped them off in a volcano
An the tension could be cut with a knife
Because they both knew what was to happen.
Each one of them would have to fight for their life.
Bigfoot didn't want to waste any time
So he let out a loud ferocious roar
His woodland friends from his forest rushed in
And practically covered the whole floor.
They started to gang up on Samuel.
He just didn't know what to do.
Until he slammed his big fist on the ground
And through the volcano an airplane flew.
In the cockpit of this very airplane
Abraham Lincoln manned the steering wheel
But then John Wilkes Booth crashed through the window.
And control of the airplane he tried to steal.
But Ol' Honest Abe would not allow this
So he pinned John Wilkes Booth down to the floor.
But Booth was prepared for Lincoln's attack
And then he pushed Lincoln right out the door.
Bigfoot and Jackson were now on the wing.
But Bigfoot would not let his guard down there. The rainbows were strewn about from his mouth.
And then snakes, like rain, flew throughout the air.
Jackson felt beat but had to keep going.
He couldn't give up he hadn't closed his case.
He then felt power flow throughout his veins.
And maimed each snake with a punch to the face.
Then Samuel kicked Bigfoot in the head.
Then Bigfoot stumbled and fell down below.
But Jackson realized his blow was too late.
As the plane crashed into a pile of snow.
Bigfoot landed on Abe Lincoln.
Both of them screaming and writhing in pain.
The both sat up and what was it they saw?
Booth being violently thrown from the plane.
He landed upon Samuel Jackson
With which they both let out a painful cry.
But the four of them could fight no longer.
So they had to settle it as a tie.
But none of them really cared about that
Because they didn't know where they landed
They realized that they were in the North Pole.
And soon they were cold, hungry, and stranded.
Then they saw something off in the distance
And now they had hope when they saw the light.
Santa's workshop with a "HELP WANTED" sign.
They applied and worked off into the night.
